When you are considering the type of relationship or partner you want in your life, there are plenty of things that come to mind for what you DO want out of the relationship, such as their sense of humor, or the way that they treat you.
Just as we look for specific things in our partners, there are also traits that we hope to never encounter. These traits are commonly known as “deal breakers”. Although everyone’s deal breakers might not be the same, there are a few that we can ALL agree on.
Below is a list of the top 6 relationship deal breakers, according to experts, to compare your list to.
Regardless of how long you have been in a relationship with someone, one of the most important parts of being in a healthy relationship is being able to communicate with your partner about the things that bother you. Healthy communication often involves listening without the intent to change or manipulate your partner for your own benefit.
Not being able to talk about your issues in a relationship can lead to feelings of resentment because emotional needs are not being met, which does not bode well for long-term relationships.
Dishonesty is one of the top relationship deal breakers, especially when it becomes a habit. Dishonesty can manifest in lies about where your partner has been, withholding financial information, bending the truth about their past, and even small things, like lying about completing a small task, can all lead to even bigger problems down the road.
Having a strong foundation of trust is essential for building a mutually caring and beneficial partnership. “When interpersonal trust is missing or insufficient, it’s absence all but guarantees a difficult, painful, frustrating, and ultimately unsatisfying future for both partners,” says relationship experts and therapists Linda Bloom, LCSW.
Another important aspect of a healthy relationship is being able to rely on your partner and feel like they have your back. Your relationship should be a loving, caring, compassionate, empathetic addition to your life, not something that feels like an emotional drain.
There will be times when your partner does not have a lot to give emotionally and vice versa, and being able to help each other fill those spaces when you need it leads to greater feelings of emotional closeness and intimacy.
Feeling unsupported by your partner can lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction, making the lack thereof one of the top relationship deal breakers.
Do you find yourself constantly trying to please your partner, or changing your personality based upon your partner’s mood or the situation? Do you speak up and tell your partner what is really on your mind, or do you only tell them what they want to hear? Not being able to be yourself in a relationship should always be a deal breaker.
If you are faking interests, holding back your thoughts, or censoring parts of yourself in the relationship, it is time to move on from this relationship and find someone who embraces you in your totality. Your partner should know and love the real you, not a watered down version.
In order for a relationship to succeed long-term, both parties must feel as though they are valued and appreciated for the value that they add to the relationship. If your partner takes you for granted, isn’t grateful or appreciative of the things you do, and doesn’t make a real effort to prioritize you in their life, it may be time to end the relationship.
Personal growth — both together and separately — is very important in a relationship. If your partner stunts your growth and holds you back, often due to their own insecurities, the relationship will end. Your partner should celebrate your success just as much as they celebrate their own. They should support your career goals, push you to make new friends, and just push you to become a better version of yourself.
If they feel threatened by your growth or are unwilling to grow alongside you, problems will arise. Working together to bring out the best versions of each other is key to a relationship’s success.