Tired of the continuous cycle of awkward first dates, weird hookups, and being ghosted? Maybe you finally found someone you really like and you’re thinking it’s time to take this next relationship slow. If this sounds like you, here is a step-by-step guide to taking it slow without getting bored.
Taking a relationship slowly gives you and your partner a chance to get to know one another better and see what kinds of things you have in common. Everyone has a different definition of what “taking it slow” means, so be sure to talk to your partner about what it means to them.
For some people, taking it slow might mean waiting to become a couple, while other people might think of it as waiting to have sex, and for others it might mean waiting to become committed or emotionally vulnerable. There is no right catch-all definition, therefore, having an honest conversation with your partner can be the difference between a successful or unsuccessful “talking stage”.
When you’re taking it slow, you have plenty of time to enjoy spending time with one another because you are probably going on ~ real ~ dates with your partner. And no, a real date is not dinner and a movie.
Trying activities together that neither of you have done before allows you both to bond over the experience of trying something that might not feel normal or within your comfort zone. Sharing an experience like this together is so special because it allows you to connect on a level that is deeper than the surface.
Reflect back to the last conversation that left you feeling extremely fulfilled and good about yourself. What do you think are a few reasons that conversation made you feel so good? Now think about a conversation that made you feel the complete opposite. What are the differences between those two conversations?
If you want to connect with someone, you need to show them that you really care about truly getting to know them. But how do you show someone you just met that you care about them without being creepy and invasive?
Ask questions that tell you about your partner’s beliefs or values and phrase them in a way that encourages them to explain further. For example, instead of asking, “Did you have a nice childhood?” ask, “What was your childhood like?” Phrasing questions like this allows for more open conversations, also allowing the conversation to flow more easily.
Here is a list of more engaging questions to ask your parter.
Figuring out your compatibility with your partner is essential to a healthy relationship. You can do this by trying activities that each other enjoy such as hiking, rock climbing, comedy, or trying new foods together.
This will help you feel more comfortable on a date and it will also allow your partner to get to experience that part of your life. It can be fun to experience these different aspects of your life with your partner and it provides a space to get to really know all sides of your partner.
Even while you are dating someone, friends, family, and work-life can get in the way, making it difficult to spend time together. Thankfully, we can use technology to our advantage by utilizing different platforms like talking on the phone or sending heartfelt memes back and forth throughout the day.
Video dates and FaceTime sleepovers are also great ways to bond with your partner. For a list of creative virtual date ideas, click here. Check out How to Build Honesty and Trust in a Relationship to assist in building a strong foundation with your new partner.